I’m sorry

4 months ago I was very content about myself. I just got into a university in a country I had been wanting to live in since I was a little kid. I also got accepted into a government scholarship program for my master’s degree. I already got over my last heartbreak and felt that life couldn’t be better. Being with family and friends and preparing for my master’s degree abroad were the two top priorities back then. I already imagined so many possibilities that could happen in my 2 years living in another country faraway. But then one afternoon, Life knocked on my door and explained that things would turn a little differently.

This evening you called me three times. Before, during, and after watching a football match. When you called the first time and were about to hang up because the match was about to begin, I didn’t believe when you said you’re going to call after the match. I thought for sure you’d forget or decide that you were too tired and just go right off to bed. I thought, oh well you must have been tired after all day of working anyway so I will let you be. But then you actually called. During the commercial and after the match actually finished. It was sweet.

Today I saw this online live report about an independent music concert out of town back home. If I were still there you and I might have gone to the concert. There were so many cool events back home that I wish I could attend with you. But, as unfortunate as it is, I’m here and you’re there and I felt so trapped sometimes because I can’t just appear in front of your doorstep and say hello to you face to face.

Maybe i should have stayed and then things would have been so much easier for us. A gig in the park over the weekend, occasional dinner dates after work, going to the movies whenever it’s convenient for us. But instead i left. I left you all alone in a city that is so big. Now all we have is occasional skype calls and texting and it feels like it will never be enough but we have to be content about it because we are 7,000 miles away from each other. And for that i am so sorry. I’m sorry i have to make you go through this.

I just wish you were here. Or I were there. Or we were together, side by side.

D

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