Bandung, again.

Last weekend I got to stay in Bandung with A. We planned the trip about two weeks prior. This was my first time going back there in about four years, so I was pretty excited about it.

We went with A’s car. I stayed overnight at her place the day before. We headed out about 11.30 AM and arrived in the hotel around 04.00 PM. It was Friday morning before the prayer, so the traffic wasn’t that bad. It could have been worse, you know.

We stayed at this trendy new hotel called Blackbird Hotel Bandung all the way up in Sersan Bajuri for the first night. The second night we stayed in Kalya Hotel (previously Tune Hotel) in Sumur Bandung, near Simpang Dago.

I really liked our hotel room in Blackbird. It was a simple room with an industrial vibes, forms follow functions type of things. The room was quite beautiful, especially when the sunlight striked in.

We went out for dinner about an hour after we checked in. A suggested for us to go to Bebek Betutu Aji Anom in Dipati Ukur. We used to go there back when we were in bachelor’s. I also texted H to meet us there, since H worked in town. A and I were about halfway into finishing our food when H arrived. We all sat down talking and catching up. It was raining. The place was small and modest but I liked it nonetheless. We each had this meal package consisted of one bebek betutu, one rice, vegetables soup, sambal matah, and a glass of warm tea. It costed us IDR 32K per person.

Afterwards A and I went to PVJ to see a movie. We watched Red Sparrow and didn’t like it one bit. There were too many graphic unnecessary details. We came back to the hotel all traumatized.

The next day we had breakfast in the morning at this hotel lounge called Sea Como Sea. It was a beautiful lounge. Very tropical, very laidback. I liked all the wooden details and the monstera. I could stay there all day.

Unfortunately, we needed to go down to Dago ASAP before we were trapped in the traffic. So we checked out of this cool little hotel and went down all the way to Simpang Dago.

A insisted for her morning caffeine fix. So we hit Wiki Koffie in Braga. It was raining so when we reached the coffee shop there were only two customers. This place is one of those places that makes you feel this indescribeable longing once you’re inside. I loved the peranakan style decor. Combined with the oldies music playing softly in the background and the sound of rain from outside, instant happiness. We bought Vietnamese coffee and Turkish coffee for IDR 15K each. We also bought chicken wings (6 pieces) for IDR 20K.

Afterwards we went to Institut Teknologi Bandung, for old time’s sake. We wandered around ITB from Gerbang Depan to Gerbang Belakang. We also went to the old FSRD building and the new CADL building, just to look around. All the memories came rushing back. How fast time had gone. How funny and unexpected life turned out to be.

In the evening, I had dinner with H in Skyline Best View Resto (it is literally the name of the restaurant. I didn’t make it up). And what a view it had! We went there around 8 PM on a Saturday night. Lucky us, we got a table right away. The view was mesmerizing! The night lights of Bandung right before our eyes. The food was so-so. But I’ll definitely come here for the view. The photo doesn’t do it justice.

Afterwards we went back to the hotel. We met up with A and O in front of Circle K next to the hotel and talked for a bit. The next day A and I checked out of the hotel at 8 AM and arrived in Jakarta around 11.30 AM! It was wonderful.

This trip was.. something else. During my stay in Bandung, I had lots of flashbacks of the more innocent, younger days. A and I talked about a lot of stuff in this trip. We also sang and danced to our road trip playlist in the car. Every thing was so much fun.

It’s just.. I’m still wondering. Where did all the innocence go? Since when did we change so much? Is it all for the better? Should I be able to recognize myself ten years down the line?

I can’t wait to get back to Bandung again.



I’m sorry

4 months ago I was very content about myself. I just got into a university in a country I had been wanting to live in since I was a little kid. I also got accepted into a government scholarship program for my master’s degree. I already got over my last heartbreak and felt that life couldn’t be better. Being with family and friends and preparing for my master’s degree abroad were the two top priorities back then. I already imagined so many possibilities that could happen in my 2 years living in another country faraway. But then one afternoon, Life knocked on my door and explained that things would turn a little differently.

This evening you called me three times. Before, during, and after watching a football match. When you called the first time and were about to hang up because the match was about to begin, I didn’t believe when you said you’re going to call after the match. I thought for sure you’d forget or decide that you were too tired and just go right off to bed. I thought, oh well you must have been tired after all day of working anyway so I will let you be. But then you actually called. During the commercial and after the match actually finished. It was sweet.

Today I saw this online live report about an independent music concert out of town back home. If I were still there you and I might have gone to the concert. There were so many cool events back home that I wish I could attend with you. But, as unfortunate as it is, I’m here and you’re there and I felt so trapped sometimes because I can’t just appear in front of your doorstep and say hello to you face to face.

Maybe i should have stayed and then things would have been so much easier for us. A gig in the park over the weekend, occasional dinner dates after work, going to the movies whenever it’s convenient for us. But instead i left. I left you all alone in a city that is so big. Now all we have is occasional skype calls and texting and it feels like it will never be enough but we have to be content about it because we are 7,000 miles away from each other. And for that i am so sorry. I’m sorry i have to make you go through this.

I just wish you were here. Or I were there. Or we were together, side by side.


just a quick note

this is for me about 10-20 years from now, whether you’re currently feeling down, beaten up, tired of this life, trapped, or whatever negative ones you’re under right now. i want you to remember this. i want you to remember the 22 years old you, sitting behind the desk of your dorm room, with the radio on and the sunbeam comes from the window panes, doing the final project of your undergrad years with the hope to quickly see the world after. i want you to grasp the feeling that i have currently. the feeling that nothing is impossible. the feeling that i have after looking at the bluest of sky and the whitest of clouds. the feeling that i have after opening some airlines’ websites. the feeling that my life is going to be so good and awesome. i want you to remember the feeling that i have right now.

because, whatever happens, we are still the same person. you are me, only a few years older. what has that got to do with anything? nothing, right? you can still have all these mesmerizing and up-lifting feelings. i think you’ve saved up some money already all right, which is so good because right now i have all the time and energy in the world but no cash LOL. so, please please please, for the love of God, do yourself a favor and travel (if you haven’t already!). go somewhere you haven’t been before whether just by yourself, with your spouse, or whoever! go see the world for me. for your 22 years old self who is dying and willing to trade anything for seeing the world through her eyes. remember the time you spent in the USA, remember the time you went to singapore by yourself to see laneway music festival, remember the time you went to bali. just remember all those time and feelings, okay?

this world is too big not to be walked on or seen.


the bluest of skygarage salealicelittle globelightscoins

image courtesy: Flickr. click the images to see where the photo originally comes from 🙂

there will be time

there will be time when i no longer want to click upon your name on my instant messenger

there will be time when i no longer want to have a late night conversation with you

there will be time when i no longer want to know your opinion on any irrelevant subjects

there will be time when i no longer want to tell you every single detail of my day

there will be time when i no longer see you as a significant part of my well-being

there will be time when the thought of you and i watching a movie screening together side by side no longer interest me

there will be time when an accidental glance of your picture no longer flick my mind

there will be time when thinking of you no longer happen constantly

there will be time when your name in my contact list no longer bother me

there will be time when you are no longer the one person i want to spend my life with

there will be time when you are no longer missed

and, most importantly, there will be time when you will regret letting me go out of your life

there will be time, there will be time

because fuck you, that’s why


Going Solo

Akhirnya gue traveling sendiri juga! Gue sempet aneh karena dibolehin sama bokap nyokap. Tapi, setelah dipikir-pikir, dulu gue dilepas gitu aja setahun di Amerika nggak kenapa-kenapa, sih. Mungkin itu jadi salah satu faktor juga kenapa bokap nyokap ngebolehin gue jalan sendiri ke Singapur. I mean, dibanding Amerika Serikat, Singapur is like next door. Dan jadilah gue ke Singapur sendirian. Di Terminal 3 Bandara Soekarno-Hatta gue dilepas begitu aja oleh nyokap dan adek gue. Check in sendiri, melalui imigrasi sendiri, menunggu pesawat sendiri, masuk pesawat sendiri, yah pokoknya serba sendiri lah. Parahnya lagi, Blackberry gue nggak bisa dipake dong pas nyampe di Singapur hahaha. Padahal gue udah bayar paket buat ke luar negeri, loh. Sialan emang, nih. Nanti gue tanyain ah ke Grapari. Mumpung deket kosan.

So, anyway. Gue bener-bener sendirian selama di bandara, baik di Soetta maupun Changi. Rasanya apa ya, reflektif banget hahaha. Bosen juga, sih. Tapi gue suka interaksi orang-orang di bandara. Kayak, pas gue mau beli kopi dari coffee maker di ruang tunggu terminal 3, gue akhirnya beli kopi ke mbak-mbak yang kelebihan masukin uang. Terus juga pas di pesawat mau ke Changi, ada bapak yang anaknya nangis nggak karuan sampai pesawatnya take off. Lalu ibu-ibu yang duduk di sebelah gue ngasih gue permen untuk diberikan ke bapak itu, supaya bapak itu ngasih ke anaknya, dan anaknya diam. Gue lalu memberikan permen itu ke orang yang duduknya di belakang bapak itu. Ketika gue balik dari Singapur, gue harus ngecharge handphone gue dulu sehingga gue jadi ngobrol-ngobrol sama ibu yang sedang duduk dan menunggu anaknya keluar dari terminal kedatangan. Dan juga obrolan singkat dengan petugas imigrasi. Yah, pokoknya hal-hal khas bandara seperti itu lah.  Gue sangat suka. Karena, apa yah, untuk sesaat, cerita kami saling bersilangan di tempat persinggahan ini, untuk kemudian kami kembali ke kehidupan kami masing-masing. Begitulah.

Singapur menyenangkan. Panas, seperti di Ancol. Tapi sangat rapi dan modern. Oh iya, selama di Singapur gue nggak sendiri. Gue nginep di tempat temen SMA gue, Agita Sesara. Uh, gue super dimanja deh pokoknya. Pas di Changi dijemput Agita, jalan-jalan ditemani Agita, tinggal di dorm Agita. Ah, thank you so so so so much for your hospitality and company! :* Selama di Singapur gue menginap di kamar Agita di dorm Nanyang Technology University (NTU). Sedikit banyak gue jadi belajar tentang kehidupan anak-anak perantauan yang tinggal di luar negeri. Gue ketemu beberapa teman SMA yang sekarang kuliah di NTU juga kayak Tony, Hafiy, dan Egi. Yah, seru lah. Malam pertama gue makan malem pancakes di kamar temennya Agita, si Renung. Malam kedua abis Laneway juga makan malam (yang super telat) di situ bareng sama Egi dan Hafiy. Wah, ini terima kasih sebesar-besarnya loh sudah memperbolehkan gue crash in dan ikut makan-makan hehe.

Apa lagi, yah. Gue banyak ke museum, sih. Kayaknya gue emang museum geek, deh. Pas di Amerika dulu juga kalau ke luar kota kerjaannya ke museum. Museum of art lah, museum of contemporary art lah, apa lah. Kalau pas ke Singapur kemarin gue ke tiga museum: Red Dot Design Museum, Singapore Art Museum, sama ArtScience Museum. Semuanya menarik, tapi yang paling gue suka secara exhibition-nya itu yang pertama Red Dot, kedua ArtScience, dan ketiga SAM. Gue emang lebih tertarik sama hal-hal kontemporer sih ketimbang klasik hehe. Tapi, gue emang nggak tahan banget kalau ke luar negeri cuma nggak masuk ke design atau art museum. Rasanya ada yang kurang. Yang uber cool sih pas ke ArtScience Museum di Marina Bay Sands. Kan ada pameran 100 Tahun Titanic gitu. Dapet tiket yang bentuknya replika tiket masuk Titanic, dong! Dan di belakangnya ada nama penumpangnya, yang nyata dan memang penumpang Titanic 100 tahun lalu! Lucu deh. Di dalam area display ada nama orang-orang yang selamat dan meninggal. Punya gue termasuk nama orang yang selamat. Ceritanya dia penyanyi di klub malam Paris dan Belgia gitu, deh. Hahaha. Super glamor.

Laneway-nya sendiri menurut gue emang sebagaimana festival musik seharusnya, sih. Gue suka sensasi di mana badan lo udah super capek, keringet nyampur baur sama orang-orang yang nggak lo kenal, mata udah kriyep-kriyep karena kecapekan, tapi lo tetap enjoy karena di depan lo ada band atau artis yang lo kagumi. Gue juga suka sensasi di mana lo dan orang-orang asing di sekitar lo terhipnotis oleh musik yang sama, dan menyanyikan lirik lagu yang sama berbarengan pula. Rasanya sangat magical. Itu salah satu alasan utama gue suka pergi ke konser. Gue suka banget nonton gig. Rasanya ketika lo nonton langsung si artis atau band itu, lo jadi mengerti kenapa lo bisa sampai suka sama mereka, dan kemudian lo akan semakin menyukai mereka dan musiknya. Sensasi mengetahui bahwa ada beratus-ratus orang yang sama-sama menghargai musik yang lo suka juga sangat rewarding. Maklum, gue suka musik yang mungkin di telinga kebanyakan orang dibilang aneh hehehe. Ah, akhirnya ada satu festival musik yang gue coret dari list music-festivals-to-see gue! 🙂

Apa yah. Yah menurut gue traveling memang merupakan salah satu cara paling baik untuk menepi sebentar dari hidup. Kalau selama ini lo ngerasa kayak sedang menjalankan sebuah role dalam sebuah film, traveling itu seperti duduk sebentar di pinggiran sambil bersantai dan melihat orang lain melakukan role-nya. Rasanya menyenangkan. Kayak mengambil napas panjang waktu di pegunungan, lalu dihembuskan lagi.

Nabung lagi ah untuk suatu perjalanan di masa depan hehe.

By the way, 30 Hari Menulis Surat Cinta gue gagal total! Haha!



Waktu itu gue sama aya baru pulang dari ngecek kursi di Eterno. Kita makan di A&W Pasteur. Abis ngobrol-ngobrol, gue punya hasrat untuk lihat-lihat ke pet shop di deket situ. Lihat-lihat pet shop, lalu melihat ke tempat hamster. Dalam sepersekian detik gue memutuskan untuk membeli hamster. Jadilah gue beli seekor hamster yang lalu gue beri nama Papaw.

Papaw jenis hamster Panda. Waktu gue beli dia masih sangat kecil. Karena lingkungan yang baru dan asing, dia jadi suka gigit-gigit. Tangan gue abis dia gigit, pernah sampai hampir berdarah. Dia gigitnya lama, terus dalam. Pokoknya sakit banget kalau dia ngegigit. Gue jadi sedih juga kalau dia udah mulai gigit-gigit. Itu tandanya dia masih belum kenal sama gue.

Tapi lama-kelamaan, dia jadi jarang gigit. Lalu, nggak sama sekali. Seneng deh waktu dia bisa gue ajak main-main di tangan dan gue elus-elus lalu dia tenang-tenang aja, nggak gigit sama sekali. Dia juga mulai tahu bau tangan gue, jadi waktu gue angkat dia nggak meronta-ronta lebay kayak dulu. Dia suka gue lepas di kamar kosan gue, biar dia bebas lari-lari. Lucunya, setiap kali gue lepas dia di kamar, dia pasti selalu balik lagi ke kandang. Pernah juga seharian gue lupa nutup kandang dan gue pergi kuliah. Balik-balik gue panik banget. Eh, taunya dia masih di dalam kandang aja dengan tenangnya. Kalau gue pulang kuliah dan masuk kamar, dia suka keluar dari rumah kecilnya yang ada di atas kandang itu dan berdiri-diri di gerigi kandang menghadap ke gue lalu gue ajak main. Pokoknya, Papaw hamster yang menyenangkan.

Kemarin malam dia sakit. Sekitar jam delapan gitu gue ngasih dia makan dan main sama dia. Dia masih aktif. Gue taruh dia di kandang kayak biasa. Gue lalu tidur-tiduran di tempat tidur. Tahu-tahu, maleman gitu, ada suara kayak mencicit-cicit dari arah kandang. Si Papaw bunyi terus. Gue panik, kan. Gue kira dia minta dicariin temen atau gimana karena selama ini dia gue pelihara sendiri. Bolak-balik gue keluarin dia dari kandang, gue elus-elus. Akhirnya, dia gue tinggal tidur.

Besoknya, gue di kampus seharian. Pas balik, dia masih bunyi gitu, kayak orang asma gitu bunyinya. Akhirnya gue bawa ke dokter. Gue nunggu di dokter hewan di Cikapayang, sendirian. Papaw udah kayak lemes banget, napasnya udah megap-megap gitu. Mas-mas sebelah gue yang udah ngantri duluan sampai ngasih gilirannya ke gue karena ngeliat hamster gue kayak udah sakit banget. Gue masuk. Diperiksa papaw sama dokter, dikasih suntikan, dikasih resep. Selesai dari situ gue ke Kimia Farma Dago, nebus resep. Selama itu, gue deg-degan banget mikirin Papaw. Bolak-balik gue cek dia di kandang kecilnya. Tapi, ketika sampai di kosan lagi, Papaw udah nggak bergerak.

Papaw, tidur yang tenang ya di sana. Maaf ya aku kurang cepet tadi bawa kamu pulang. Makasih ya, Paw. I’ll miss you :””””””””””””(



pancakesfriendssnowmanhappy birthday

hari ini pagi-pagi bangun lalu duduk di kursi menghadap meja belajar, kemudian menyalakan laptop, dan meneruskan pengerjaan tugas kemarin malam. gue tidur jam setengah dua pagi. udah bener-bener nggak kuat mikir. buat nge-rotate pintu di cad aja mata gue udah berat banget dan otak gue kayak ngehang gitu. bangun karena alarm jam setengah enam, tapi kemudian tidur lagi karena mata masih berat dan baru bener-bener bangun jam delapan pagi. uh, langsung cuci muka, gosok gigi, pake lip balm (oke, yang terakhir nggak signifikan), dan duduk manis depan laptop klak-klik-klak-klik cad dan sotosop. hectic, hectic, hectic, akhirnya jam sebelas berangkat.

jalan cepat ke depan gang, naik angkot, turun angkot, jalan cepat sampai tempat print-an salman. waktunya super tepat. soalnya pas gue ngeprint, tau-tau ada mas-mas dateng mau ngeprint di kertas A2. fiuh, untung gue duluan. terus ke studio, ketemu iam. si kak koco ga ada. akhirnya gue dan iam memutuskan buat naruh tugas di mejanya aja. lalu ada bobi juga. bertiga ngumpulin bareng. lalu ke tpb. pas mau ke atas ketemu beberapa tpb. ada yang nyenyumin gue, ada yang nanya “ih teteh kok baru datang?” oh my god, malu! cepat-cepat ke atas, masuk ruang dosen, ada jeje dan tika. ke ruang display dulu, bantuin irna dan ume. abis itu makan! uuuu seperti biasa, makanannya selalu enak :-9 lalu ngasmas. ada dosen tamu dari jepang. bantu-bantu. abis itu pulang, turun dari tpb.

pulang-pulang, ke reading lights dulu. jadinya rame-rame sama aya, bubu, sasa, dan riri juga. padahal awalnya cuma gue sama tika yang pengen ke sana gara-gara ngidam pancake. ke rl, naik angkot, macet. tapi akhirnya nyampe juga dan bisa duduk di tempat deket jendela besar yang sangat gue sukai. makanan minuman datang, ngobrol lala-lili, nonton goban dari laptopnya bubu, nengok-nengok tempat buku anak sama riri dan tika, makan kentang goreng rame-rame, ngeliat buku unyu yang isinya karya-karya dari cetakan jempol, haha-hihi. cabut dari situ sekitar maghrib. yang teringat sampai sekarang adalah cokelat, cahaya, hangat, bau manis, musik bossanova, dan menghabiskan waktu bersama teman-teman. rasanya menyenangkan 🙂

sampai kosan mandi, bersih-bersih kamar, menyapu melipat selimut nge-charge handphone, lalu menyalakan laptop dan kemudian menulis ini sambil mendengarkan a fine frenzy. mengingat-ingat suasana di reading lights tadi dan udara bandung yang mendingin, gue jadi ingat suasana christmas di amerika. gue nggak merayakan natal, tapi menurut gue suasana natal itu menarik untuk diamati dan berkesan. apalagi di amerika dulu, banyak sekali lampu-lampu, lagu-lagu catchy, bau manis permen kue dan cokelat, dan hal-hal lain yang indah-indah. gue suka hal-hal indah. dan apalagi dulu gue dapat banyak hadiah natal dari host family. ups. nostalgia 🙂


setelah kerja keras beberapa hari belakangan, rasanya tepat untuk bersantai, walaupun mungkin belum saatnya yah. kemarin dipuji dosen idola. ih, senang :”> katanya kerja keras gue ada hasilnya, lalu gue dibilang untuk menjaga prestasi atau sesuatu semacam itu. ah, senang sekali rasanya kalau apa yang dikerjakan sungguh-sungguh kemudian diapresiasi oleh orang yang dihormati.

akhir-akhir ini selalu panik dengan pertanyaan pada diri sendiri yang menghantui pikiran: “habis lulus kuliah mau melakukan apa?” oh, tuhan, tolong bimbing hambamu yang clueless ini. tapi, setelah dipikir-pikir, lulus saja belum. mungkin gue harus lebih mengkhawatirkan langkah-langkah yang harus diambil agar lulus kuliah, baru setelah itu menimbang-nimbang tentang tahap selanjutnya.

karena kehidupan adalah tentang menghadapi apa yang ada di depan mata.

cheers to the freaking weekend, baby! 🙂